mary lou

my athletic performance throughout my life has been mediocre at best. it all started during toddlerhood, when my mother took me to swimming lessons at a dark, warm and humid place that smelled of chlorine and the promise of a chocolate chip cookie. i was outraged to find that my instructor was a male, who wore speedos, and demanded someone else if i was expected to attend subsequent classes.

when i was about three years old, i tried gymnastics. my sister excelled at the sport, won several medals and was obsessed with nadia comaneci. we watched the nadia movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087774) like a million times. we each had the 1984 olympics american leotard and pretended to be gymnasts at home. she was always nadia, of course, and i was mary lou retton because my hair was short like hers, my sister explained. i didn't even know who she was. anyway, at the gym, my underwear would bunch up and peek through the leg line. plus, every time i attempted doing a forward roll, i would pee a little, creating a dark circle that would be clearly visible when i tried to do side splits.

later on, i tried ballet. although wearing tights under the leotard was a great improvement in my opinion, i still detested the color pink, especially powder pink, and was quite disappointed to learn, after the first class, that i would not be using a tutu on a regular basis.

then, after failing miserably at tennis, there was swimming, again. i overcame some obstacles, like changing in the locker room and diving into cold water and wearing a swim hat and showering in the locker room after class. i was doing okay, until i was signed up for a swim meet by my instructor and mom, who thought it would be a good thing, at the time. the day of the swim meet came, my parents and sister were there, along with the parents and siblings of what seemed to be a hundred competitors. i swam and swam, while loud speakers announced winners. i kept swimming and swimming, while the pool slowly emptied out. i had swum my last lap, when i realized i was one of three swimmers left. yes, i came in 98th place.

i pretty much gave up on all sports after that. years later, i discovered yoga and have been practicing, on and off, for a number of years. my mom is happy that i finally found a physical activity that i enjoy, but wishes she would have known about it when i was a child. oh well, better late than never.