Thursday, November 19, 2009

two years ago, pt. 3

i woke up to see panzón in scrubs and a funny, shower-cap-looking hat, smiling uncontrollably and taking way too many pictures. looking back at those pictures, i realize that i, too, was wearing such a cap. the power nap energized me and, once the midwives came into the room, we were ready to go. i obviously had no idea what i was doing, but after a while, i understood that contractions are waves that you have to catch and ride out by pushing steadily.
there were about two hours of pushing and pausing and pushing, all of it captured on video by panzón, who was also there to hold my hand. while i pushed with all of my might from the inside, a midwife was using her hands and arms to push from the outside. coco was probably pushing too, with her little coconut head, because i felt a tremendous and slightly painful pressure right at the time when it PLOP!ed out. and then there she was: red, with a tiny scrunched-up face and a head full of hair.
she was placed on my breast immediately, which was beautiful, but also overwhelming. now what?, i asked myself, scared, excited, exhausted. i had been concentrating so much on giving birth, that i hadn't thought much about sustaining life.

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