trick or treating cancer

halloween is the time of year we not only face our fears, but open our doors to monsters, demons and ghouls and offer them something sweet, hoping to make them go away. october is also breast cancer month. cancer is truly terrifying. unlike trick-or-treaters, it doesn't go back home, take off its mask and eat candy until its tummy hurts. it silently slips into our bodies and makes itself at home, helping itself to whatever it can get its greedy hands on, making us sick. well, life played a little trick on me this month and gave me my own cancer scare. very clever indeed, life!

i knew it would come knocking on my door sooner or later, ever since we lost my maternal grandmother to breast cancer when i was eight years old (it's known to skip a generation, you see), but now? can't it see the belly-shaped no vacancy sign? my body is already occupied by a beautiful and wanted guest. there is absolutely no room for a deathly parasite. or is there? after a session of my specialized surgeon softly kneading my breast, maybe. after no coffee, (almost) no chocolate and vitamin E, maybe. after an ultrasound, maybe. after a needle poking me seven times and waiting for three days for the biopsy result, apparently not.

so bring it on, halloween. i was already scared shitless this month, so send me all of your witches and zombies and goblins. i will welcome them with open arms and lots and lots of chocolate.

where's my belly?

i'm four months into my second pregnancy, but my belly has not yet popped. meanwhile, my calendar looks like it's going to burst at the seams, at least for my relaxed standards. my days are filling up with preschool, playdates, ballet lessons (coco rocks in her black tutu), my etsy shop, volunteering for cicLAvia (which is this sunday, by the way!), and planning coco's third birthday party. oh, and i signed up to be room parent at the preschool, completely overlooking the fact that my due date is a couple of weeks before the school's biggest fundraising event. you know you've got pregnancy brain when you keep forgetting you're pregnant!

anyway, the other morning, coco and i were distributing some cicLAvia posters around our area and came upon a brand new yoga studio. unfortunately, they did not have a bulletin board, but before i could even open my mouth to say "thanks anyway", the male receptionist over-enthusiastically said, "wow! are those real? *pause* fruit loops?". i followed his stare to the fruit loop necklace snugly nestled between my breasts. i blushed and answered, "yes, yes they are". clearly, other parts of my body are popping.