leçon de ballet

coco is taking her first ballet lesson this afternoon. we got her a pair of these hideous intestine-pink ballet slippers, which look absolutely adorable on chubby little feet, but abstained from the tutu because her future in ballet is uncertain at this point.

the thing is, the class is technically for girls over three, but they made an exception for coco, since her birthday is only a month away. however, if the teacher thinks she's not ready for such sophistication, she'll be kicked out of the class. i can just imagine the teacher doing a grand battement on coco's petit derrière, sending her flying gracefully out of the studio.

i know coco is completely capable of doing whatever it is the teacher instructs, the real question is whether she'll understand these instructions in english. or will they be in french? my advice to coco: do as the tutus do and just try to make it through, and next class, you'll have a tutu, too.

cute carnivores

coco (aka motoneta) was enjoying a lovely afternoon with tita and tata, watching the beautifully photographed and narrated documentary, the march of the penguins. everyone was enjoying the film, including our very own penguin, a silly inflatable toy, who was so enthralled by his fellow penguins in the wild that he didn't blink once.

suddenly, out of nowhere (well, the gelid waters of the antarctic), jumped a seal and gobbled up a penguin, just like that. coco's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. WHAT?!?! did that seal just eat that penguin? WHY? why would a cute seal eat a cute penguin? tita was equally shocked when this scene violently took over the screen and comforted her granddaughter, while tata fumbled with the remote to change the channel.

coco is big on explanations and asked her grandparents for one immediately. in fact, she talked about this when we got back from our own violent movie, during dinner, before bed and even the next morning. she just couldn't wrap her head around the fact that an animal would do that to another animal and kept repeating, "i love all animals" and "seals are nice anyway", trying to keep loving seals in spite of their killer instincts.

and so, one of earth's most primal truths was revealed to coco: animals eat other animals to survive. we do it, too.

spare change

panzón, motoneta and i are in our car at a toll booth with a big bridge in front of us and a long line of cars behind us. we're so used to paying for everything with plastic that it doesn't occur to us to take extra cash on our road trip. "do you accept cards?", i sweetly ask the attendant. "cash only", she responds robotically. panzón frantically empties out my wallet and his pockets, while the attendant waits surprisingly patiently, a blank expression on her face.

four dollars is not a lot of money, but it sure feels like it when you've only got two one-dollar bills and a bunch of small denomination coins. of course, we come up nine cents short. so i ask the attendant, "what if we don't have enough to pay?". well, it turns out that the camera takes a picture of your license plate and a ticket, along with the bill for four dollars, comes to your home in the mail in a tidy envelope.

but i, the driver, refuse to get a ticket, especially for four measly dollars, so i hold up a finger to the attendant. search and you will find, my friends. yes, i actually find a shiny little dime, tucked into the dark and crusty limbo that is the side of the seat. i nervously try pinching it, but it's just beyond my grasp. nevertheless, with some guidance from panzón, my skinny fingers are able to slide the coin to freedom with ease.

ha! no ticket and we still have a penny left!

pink medicine

my little motoneta has an ear infection, her second this year, and has to take a pink medicine that looks like pepto bismol, but reminds me of kenny. kenny is our dog, a beagle originally from the mojave desert, but currently exiled in mexico.

this dog is the most stubborn being i have ever encountered. i sometimes call him dogini because of his amazing talent as an escape artist. during his first with us, gates had to be extended upwards, walls had to grow, complicated latches had to be installed, and still he managed to escape, until we realized he could not be contained and gave up. and, of course, once the challenge was gone, he stopped escaping.

one time, kenny got sick, so we took him to the vet. apparently, he had a shocking number of uncommon parasites and bacteria (consistent with his behavior in the backyard) in his system and had to take some pink tablets. we stuck one in a hot dog, just like the vet suggested, and kenny devoured the whole thing. then he simply spit the tablet out. you can't trick a trickster, now can you? so, we forced his snout open, shoved the damn thing in his mouth and flushed it down his throat with water. to our amazement and horror, he regurgitated the tablet.

back to the vet's office we went with the dog and the tablets, begging for professional help. he gave us a condescending sneer as he snapped his latex gloves on. ignoring our warning, he brought out a slice of ham, wrapped it around a tablet and attempted the he'll-wolf-the-whole-thing-down method. the triumphant look on his face turned into disbelief as he watched dogini's regurgitating act. he had never seen anything quite like it. yes, he should be in a circus, i thought.

kenny was sitting on the cold metallic table, looking droopy as ever, as the vet calmly began the shove-it-down-his-throat procedure. the vet was firmly holding the dog's snout shut and was explaining how simple this was when done correctly, when his patient started to shake his head violently, spewing pink liquid all over the place, soiling his impeccable white coat and spraying his eyeglasses.

panzón and i couldn't help but laugh as the vet wiped his glasses with a tissue and suggested another, less messy, type of treatment: shots.